


Didn't know I Was In The Closet

by Mrs_Monaghan



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Accountant Mickey, F/M, I was thinking about the movie 'free fall' today and i came up with this, M/M, Masturbation, Mickey doesn't know he's gay yet, Nanny Ian, No cheating exactly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:19:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Monaghan/pseuds/Mrs_Monaghan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Growing up Terry had imprinted the words 'straight is right, gay is very wrong' in his children. Mickey grew up knowing being straight was the only option. So he did not even think twice when he met and married his secretary Svetlana. He had a well paying job, owned a nice house and was living happily with his wife and kid.</p><p>His father has never been prouder.</p><p>He loves his wife and he is living a life that every man dreams of. So Mickey is very confused when he starts lusting after their new nanny. Where was this attraction even coming from? He was straight and happily married, right? Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Didn't know I Was In The Closet

Mickey was exhausted. He got inside his house and exhailed relieved that the day was over. They had just had their monthly meeting back at work. And even though the meetings entailed siting down by a conference table, they always left him feeling drained. The big bosses seemed to agree on fuck all and Mickey always found himself zoning out. He took off his suit jacket and folded it, placing it on the back of the couch. That's when he noticed his wife leaning on the kitchen counter folding her arms and wearing her famous angry scowl. Jesus fucking Christ.

"What the fuck is it now?" 

"I was not made to be housewife. We must hire help." she replied with her broken english and russian accent that was yet to dissapear. 

Mickey was done with this debate. He preferred if their 12 month old son Yevgeny -she picked the name- was looked after by his mother not some stranger. But Svetlana wanted to work, apparently being a housewife was the worst job description in the world. He was done arguing. All he wanted to do was soak in their tub and relax. So he relented.

"Fine. Do whatever the fuck you want." he started walking towards their bedroom. 

"You must be here for interview."

He turned around to face her. "Are you fucking kidding me? I just told you to go ahead and hire your fucking nanny. Now you want me to sit down and what? Watch you question a bunch of stupid girls?"

"Yes."

"I have a fucking job, you know, where the money to pay the nanny is gonna come from?"

"He is your child too." she argued.

Mickey was so tired. "Fuck, fine."

"They will start to arrive by 10:00 tomorrow morning."

Ofcause they would. 

Mickey went to their room and undressed. He then went to their son's room. He found him sleeping soundly in his crib. He had blond hair but his eyes were just a blue as his father's. Mickey ran the back of his hand across his baby cheek and then headed to the bathroom. He decided to shave as he waited for the tub to fill up.

"God, that feels good." he sighed with satisfaction once he was fully sat as the hot water made him feel better in all the right places. Especially his legs. 

He took his bathing towel and scrubbed on his hands, his neck, his legs. He sighed the entire time. Soaking in mild hot water always made him feel better. He washed his stomach and started on his dick which was half hard. He dropped the bathing towel and started pumping on his dick. He exhaled and slid lower pulling his legs apart.   
His didn't understand why this always felt better than sex but he figured it was because he knew his body better.   
He bit his left hand to muffle his moan when he came. 

The brunette soaked for a few more seconds then got out of the tub and tied his towel around his waist.

* * * *

"Husband, dinner."

Mickey startled from his nap and got up and headed to the kitchen. He found Svetlana holding Yevgeny on her hip and he gestured for her to give him their son. 

"C'mere little man." 

Yevgeny was already smiling and stretching out his hands towards his father. He sat on his usual chair at the kitchen table with the kid on his lap. They sat there eating while Svetlana updated him on the kid's progress. He listened intently as she told him how Yevgneny loved breast milk too much and how he loved his father more than his mother. He did not disagree. That part was true.

* * * *

The next morning Mickey called the office and let them know he was going to be late. He then picked up his son who was lying on their bed making baby noises and went to join Svetlana in the living room. The first candidate had already arrived. She had on multi-coloured hair that reminded Mickey of his sister Mandy during their high school days. 

"Okay, thank you we shall call you." 

"You wanted me to be here and you didn't even give me a chance to fucking vet her." he complained as he sat down on the couch next to her.

"Do not worry, you did not miss anything."

He rolled his eyes. Someone rang the bell and Svetlana let candidate number 2 in. Just by looking at her Mickey knew she wasn't going to get the job. Her skirt was too short and she kept answering Mickey the questions even though it was Svetlana who was asking them. As some point when Svetlana looked down on her notebook the girl winked at Mickey. Jesus Christ. 

"See? This is why you are here." Svetlana explained as she closed the door when the girl left. "this way i will know who is here for baby, and who is here for husband." 

Mickey always thought she was smart. They went through six more girls until Mickey completely lost interest and started playing with Yevgeny. Candidate number 9 made Mickey pay attention. He had heard that sometimes men took up nanny jobs but he always assumed it was one of those things people said for the sake of it. And this red head didn't even look like a nanny. He had on a white dress shirt and a black trouser. He looked very decent and presentable. He'd fit right in at Mickey's workplace. 

"Hello Mr. And Mrs Milkovich, my name is Ian Gallagher." he shook both their hands. 

Svetlana looked at Mickey and winked. So this was going to be their new nanny. 

"You can calls us Svetlana and Mickey."

"Aren't you a little over dressed?" Mickey asked.

"I just wanted to make a good impression, sir."

"Don't fucking call me sir." he snapped.

"Mickey, sorry." the red head politely apologised. 

"Ignore my husband." Svetlana glared at him. "Have you looked after babies before?"

"I have 5 siblings so yeah, I have the experience."

"You can be live-in nanny, yes?" 

"Yeah." 

Svetlana nodded approvingly. "Good. Good. Is very good. Have you worked as nanny before?"

"You're a guy, why would you wanna be a fucking nanny?" 

"Mickey!" Svetlana chastised. "Sex does not matter as long as he take good care of baby."

"It's okay Svetlana. I will answer. I just finished college so I wanted to find something to do before i find employment."

Mickey huffed and continued playing with his son while Svetlana continued to interview Ian. After a few minutes they shook hands and his wife told their new nanny he could start tomorrow. 

"You can be stupid fucking idiot sometimes. Go to work, find money to pay new nanny." his wife told him on her way to the bathroom.

He shook his head. "Your mother can be such a fucking bitch sometimes." he told Yevgeny. 

"Language!" 

He groaned.

* * * *

Five days came and went, and Mickey didn't ran into Ian until Sunday. He normally got up so early for work that he was even already used to eating breakfast at work. And by the time he got home most of the time everyone was asleep or he was too exhausted and went straight to bed. 

On Sundays he normally overslept so when he woke up at noon, he woke up to sounds of Yevgeny giggling and Ian tickling him while talking in his baby voice. Svetlana was still passed out next to him. She had gone out the night before and didn't come home till four. She was taking advantage of having a nanny alright.

He went straight to the fridge for a beer. 

"Hello Mr... Hello Mickey." Ian greeted.

"You already got the job, you can stop with the whole being polite and shit." 

"What makes you think this is not how I usually am?" Ian put Yevgeny in his playpen and walked towards Mickey.

Mickey shrugged and sat at the table. "Whatever."

"You don't like me, why?" Ian sat across from him. 

"I do not, not like you."

Ian crossed his arms and leaned back. "Then what is it?"

Mickey looked at him for a bit. "That shit you spit about college true?"

"Yeah."

"But why a nanny?"

"I'm amazing with kids." Ian replied with a smirk.

"And modest too." Mickey stated sarcastically. 

Ian laughed and Mickey found himself smiling back. Okay so, maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

* * * *

On Monday morning Mickey was on his way out the door when he saw the ready made sandwich on the kitchen table. It was on a plate and wrapped with foil. There was also coffee in one of those tall to go cups that always kept the coffee hot. He looked around but he was alone. Yevgeny's room was closed, Ian's room was closed and there were no lights on. He sat down and ate his breakfast. He didn't know how the red head had known Mickey left without breakfast but he was very grateful.   
He arrived at work and for once he walked right past the office kitchen. He did not need their tasteless coffee and their plain fucking slices of bread today. No sir!

The next two weeks were the same. On Tuesday it was sausages and eggs, Wednesday bacon and eggs, on Thursday another sandwich, and on Friday pancakes. Then on and on and on .And all those times never did he once catch Ian in the act. Even though the food was always fucking warm. What was he doing, making his boss breakfast and then rushing to hide before Mickey caught him? 

One saturday Mickey decided he was going to catch him in the act. He normally left at 6:00 so at 5:50 he tip toed towards the living room. He hid by the hallway and peaked into the kitchen. And yep, there Ian was. Mickey watched his nanny put the coffee in the to go cup and start wrapping the sandwich. He watched as the red head placed them both on the kitchen table. Just as he was about to leave the kitchen Mickey came out from the shadows.

"Busted!"

Ian jumped back and hit the back of the couch falling to the ground. "Jesus Mickey!" he exclaimed holding onto his chest. "You fucking scared me."

Mickey laughed and helped him up. "You don't have to do this man." he gestured at the sandwich and coffee. Actually he appreciated it very much but he didn't want their nanny going into all this trouble for him.

"I don' mind." Ian replied rubbing his behind and Mickey laughed again.

They both sat at the table as Mickey unwrapped his sandwich. "Still, I'm pretty sure this is not in your fucking job description." 

Ian waved away his protest. "Like i said, I don' mind."

"Thanks, or whatever."

They sat there in silence with Mickey eating his breakfast and Ian scrolling his phone pretending not to watch Mickey. 

"Aren't you going to be late?" Ian asked.

"Nah, not going today. I wanna spend time with my son when he's awake." Mickey didn't like that when he came home from work his son was always asleep. So every last Saturday of every month he stayed home.

"You're a good dad."

"You don' fucking know me."

"I come from the south side. I know a bad father when I see one. The southside is littered with them and you're not it."

"No fucking way! You're southside?" Ian nodded. "Coulda fooled me. You don' look it."

"I get that alot."

"I come from the southside too." 

"I know. I recogised the name. You've done good for yourself considering your Terry's son."

Mickey liked that. Mickey liked hearing that alot.

They sat there swaping stories and laughing. Ian was suprisingly good company. Even though he was his nanny Mickey could see them becoming friends. It was rare Mickey met someone he cared about -what was coming out of their fucking mouths- enough to give them the time of day. 

Ian got up to make breakfast and Mickey realised it was light out. Wow, he did not even notice how much time had passed. Yevgeny started crying and Ian was about to go get him when Mickey stood up instead.

"I got it."

"Yes, it is his spend time with baby day." Svetlana said as she got into the kitchen. Mickey came back with the baby and his mother kissed him on the forehead. "Let me finish that, you can wash dishes." She said taking the spatula from Ian. 

Svetlana put some cereal with milk on the table and Mickey started feeding his son. He doesn't know at what point he started watching Ian, but he saw the red head rub his forehead with the back of his wrist and his shirt rode up. Mickey looked away and continued to feed his son. He did not need to see Ian's front to know he had a 6-pack under that shirt.   
By the time Mickey was done feeding him Yevgeny was a mess.

"Here, let me, I'll go give him his bath."

Mickey watched Ian's arms as he picked up the kid. His muscles flexed and Mickey licked his lips subconsciously. He found himself watching Ian's ass as he walked away. What the fuck was happening to him?

"I am going to spa today." Svetlana told him joining him at the table. 

"What happened to you finding a nanny so you can get a fucking job?"

"I am taking small vacation from looking after baby, when I have enough, then I look for work." 

He shook his head and pointed at one of Svetlana's sausages. "Give me that." She scoffed but obliged. 

* * * *

Mickey was seated on the couch watching a baseball game while Ian was seated on the floor by his feet where Yevgeny's playpen was. 

"Fucking unbelievable!" Ian swore.

"What?"

"My sister Debbie, she just tagged me on facebook."

"So?" Mickey raised an eyebrow.

"So, it's a photo of me when I was like 5. Where did she even get it?" 

"Give it." Mickey sat up and gestured for the phone.

"Aaah, let me see, no?"

"C'mon Gallagher, it can't be that bad." 

"Yes it fucking can, and yes it is."

Mickey shrugged and pretended to go back to watching the TV. Just when Ian had relaxed Mickey pounced and grabbed the phone. Ian yelped and chased after Mickey. They ran around the room twice. When he saw he had left Ian with quite a distance he looked at the screen to see a kid with extremely red hair and so many freckles he looked like someone had thrown dust in his face. 

"Wow..." 

He started to say but Ian jumped on him and they both fell on the couch. Yevgeny got out his adorable loud laugh. The red head grabbed his phone but he did not get off Mickey beneath him. Mickey was lying on his stomach and he was unusually aware of Ian's crotch right next to his ass. For a reason he couldn't explain, he started to get hard and so did Ian. 

Ian quickly got up and ran into his room leaving Mickey to wonder what the fuck had just happened. He looked at his son who still had a smile on his face. He lifted him up and stood him on his thighs. 

"Something is wrong with your dad."

* * * *

Mickey still wasn't sure what was wrong with him until he got home on Monday after work. He went to take his usual soak in the bathtub. He was touching himself like he usually did when his hand began to go lower. Something about how he had not minded Ian's crotch by his ass told him he would enjoy what he was about to do. He caressed the rim of his asshole and flinched. 

That didn't feel terrible.

He did it again only this time he let his finger go inside a little bit. He inhaled sharply. He started to push his finger in and out and jerking off at the same time. It felt amazing. He twisted his finger and touched something that made him cry out.

"Holy fuck!"

He touched that spot again and imagined it was Ian's long fingers instead of his. He pictured the red head finger fucking him while whispering nasty things in his ear. He let go of his dick and covered his mouth as he came with a loud groan.

"Jesus fucking Christ."

Mickey didn't know what the fuck had just happened, but he had just had the best orgasm of his life and he was going to do it again.

* * * *

The next day Ian seemed to have gotten over the incident. Since Mickey had already caught him he did not hide the fact that he was the one making his boss breakfast anymore. He put the pancakes, syrup and coffee (in a cup this time) infornt of Mickey and made to head back to his room. 

Mickey held Ian's wrist to stop him. He was shocked by the jolt of electricity that went up his arm making him shiver. 

"What happened," the brunette started and Ian blinked down at him. "No awkwardness right?" Mickey asked. 

Ian cleared his throat. "No awkwardness." he agreed. 

Mickey was distructed the entire week at work. They both knew what had happened on that day. They were both choosing to ignore it. Mickey was a married man with a family after all. But Mickey couldn't deny one important thing, he had finally found the answer to alot of his qestions.  
-Why jerking off was better than sex with his wife. With women in general.  
-Why he loved his wife but wasn't IN LOVE with her.  
-Why every single day he woke up he always felt like something crucial was missing in his life. Even though before the incident -it's what he had choosen to refer to it as- took place he had no idea what it was.

He sighed and leaned back in his office chair. What was he going to do? He was tired of living this unfulfilled unhappy life. His father was not going to be happy but fuck him. Mickey was done living a lie. He was 25 he could handle his father. The fucker was getting old.   
On a Friday evening he left work determined. But first things first, he was going to talk to his wife. The woman was nothing is not reasonable. 

* * * *

Mickey arrived home earlier than he usually did. Ian had just finished feeding the kid and was rocking him to sleep. Yevgeny was about to shut his eyes but he saw his dad and perked up. He lifted his hands towards Mickey's direction and started crying. Mickey took him from Ian and started rocking him. The kid settled in his shoulder peacefully and suckled on his thumb. 

"Svetlana just left, said to tell you she's not coming back tonight. " Ian told him as he started clearing the kitchen table and wiping it clean. 

"Cool." Mickey replied and went to Yevgeny's room to put him to bed. 

Hey lay him on his crib and checked to see if his diapers were wet. He was satisfied to find them completely dry. Ian probably just changed him. He kissed his son on the forehead and ruffled his hair. He shut the door behind him and joined Ian who was eating dinner in the kitchen. He pointed at the plate that was infront of Mickey's seat and the brunnete joined him.   
They sat there eating in silence. Mickey could literally feel the tension. And most of it was the sexual kind.

"Ian..."

"You're married with an incredible child." Ian interrupted. 

"I know." 

Ian dropped his spoon and rubbed his face. "Fuck." Mickey scooted closer with his chair and took his left hand. "I did not take this job so i could ruin a marriage."

"You're not, you won't." Mickey reassured. 

"Mickey." Ian whispered as he leaned closer.

Mickey held onto Ian's neck and pulled him closer. From the moment their lips touched Mickey could feel his entire body buzz. He could feel the hairs on the nape of his neck rise. Ian's lips felt amazing. This kiss felt incredible. Mickey was having the time of his life until Ian ended it abruptly.

"I have to quit." 

Mickey nodded. He understood. "When?"

"Tomorrow, as soon as Svetlana get's home. Otherwise I won't be able to control myself." 

Mickey could relate. He had half a mind to tell Ian they should ignore everything and go the whole nine yards. He got up pecked Ian one last time, then he went to bed. 

That night he dreamt of a much happier life with the red head being the one he went home to every night. He dreamt of a happy family of three and if he woke with a smile on his face, that was his business.   
His usual alarm went off and instead of preparing to go to work he went into Yevgeny's room and put him on the bed next to him. 

Svetlana came home at 8:00. She wasn't hangovered thank God. 

"Orange boy quit. What did you do? He was perfect for baby!"

"We need to talk Svet." 

She saw his serious look and sat down on their bed beside him. 

"What is wrong?"

"Are you happy?" Mickey inquired.

"Yes, i have good husband, beautiful baby, I live in good house. Ofcause I am happy."

He stood up and paced on the carpet. "I'm not."

She sighed. "Go ahead, talk."

"I think... I think I might be," he can't believe he's about to fucking say this. "I think I might be gay." 

Svetlana laughed. "Is this about carrot boy? I knew he was gay from moment i saw him. I hired him because I did not think he would take husband."

"It's not..." He was done lying. "Yeah, it's him." 

Svetlana started laughing again. 

"What's so fucking funny? Mickey asked angrily. 

Svetlana wiped away her tears and looked at her husband. "I like a girl too. But mine I think is love." 

Mickey fell on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Svetlana joined him.

"What do we do now?" she asked facing him and caressing Yevgeny's toes.

 

*   
**  
***  
****  
*****  
******  
*******

Mickey stood across the run down house on Wallace street. He was suprised to find out they had grown up so close to each other. He dropped his cigarette and grinded on it with the heel of his shoe. He crossed the road and knocked on the door. It door was opened by a dark skinned boy about 10 - 11 years old. 

"Can i help you?"

"I'm looking for Ian. Does he live here?"

"Ian doesn't live here."

Mickey nodded. "You know where I can find him?"

"Yeah," the boy turned around and yelled. "Iannnnnnn! Someone's at the door for you!"

"I though you said he wasn't here?" 

"No, I told you he doesn't live here." he deadpaned and shut the door apparently done with the entire conversation.

Mickey walked back to the bottom of the steps and lit another cigarette. 

"Mickey?!" Ian asked suprised as he walked closer.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?"

"Wanna grab some fucking lunch?" Mickey asked instead.

Ian crossed his arms. "What about your wife?"

Mickey exhaled. "She recommended this very nice restaurant on the north side, where I should take ya." 

Ian grinned beautifully. "Yeah?"

"Yeah?'

"Then what the fuck are we waiting for?"

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much 4 reading.  
>  Coming up with a fic title is a bitch!!
> 
> Kudos and all comments welcome :)))  
> #God Bless


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